در یک ساعت چقدر پول در می آورید؟

How much money do you make an hour?

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure, what is it?” Replied the man.

“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?

“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”
 

Gifts for Mother

Gifts for Mother

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother, who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama. The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house. The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600 with a chauffeur. The fourth said, “Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read it anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this monk who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge them $100,000 a year for 20 years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.” The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mama sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: Dear Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

Dear Mike, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. But thank you for the gesture just the same.

Dear Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes … and the driver you hired is a big jerk. But the thought was good.

Thanks. Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”

 

E-mail to wife

E-mail to wife

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address and without realizing his error he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve reached

Date: 2 May 2006

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving hubby.

 

کلوپ های لندن

London's clubs

There were a lot of men's clubs in London a few years ago. Men went there and read their newspapers quietly, or drank or had meals with their friends.

All of these men's clubs had a lot of very good servants. At every club one of the servants was a doorman. Mr. Grace was the doorman of one of these clubs. He was fifty-five years old, and he had grey hair and a big grey moustache.

The telephone rang in his office at six o'clock in the evening, and a woman spoke to him. She said, 'Are you the doorman of the George Club?'

'Yes, I am,' Mr. Grace answered.

'Please give my husband a message,' the woman said.

'Your husband isn't at the club this evening,' Mr. Grace answered.

'But I haven't told you his name!' the woman said angrily.

'That isn't necessary,' Mr. Grace answered. 'No husband is ever at the club.

 

داستان کوهستان

Mountain Story

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?" And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!" He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." Again the man screams: "You are a champion!" The voice answers: "You are a champion!" The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do.

Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it.

" YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"

 

خانم گرین

Mrs. Green

Mrs. Green was eighty, but she had a small car she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

She did not drive fast, because she was old, but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her, 'Please don't drive your car, Grandmother. We can take you to the shops.'

But she always said, 'No, I like driving. I've drive in for fifty years, and I'm not going to stop now.'

Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red, and then it did not start again. The lights were green, then yellow, then red, then green again, but her car did not start.

'What am I going to do now?' she said.

But then a policeman came and said to her kindly, 'Good morning. Don't you like any of our colors today?'

خانم گرین

خانم گرین هشتاد سالش بود، اما ماشین کوچکی داشت و همیشه با آن در روزهای شنبه برای خرید غذایش به فروشگاه می‌رفت.

او به علت پیری سریع رانندگی نمی‌کرد، اما خوب رانندگی می‌کرد و هیچوقت با چیزی برخورد(تصادف)نمیکرد.. بعضی وقت‌ها نوه‌هایش به او می‌گفتند: مادربزرگ، لطفا رانندگی نکنید، ما می توانیم تو را به فروشگاه ببریم.

اما همیشه می‌گفت: نه، من رانندگی را دوست دارم. پنجاه سال رانندگی کردم، حالا قصد ندارم از رانندگی دست بردارم.

شنبه‌ی گذشته ماشینش را پشت چراغ قرمز متوقف کرد، و حرکت نکرد. چراغ سبز، سپس زرد، سپس قرمز و دوباره سبز شد، اما حرکت نکرد

با خود گفت: حالا باید چی کار کنم؟

اما در آن هنگام پلیسی آمد و با مهربانی به او گفت: صبح بخیر، شما هیچ کدام از رنگ‌های چراغ راهنمایی ما رو دوست ندارید